Our Best of 2014 coverage kicks off as Páraic takes a look at some of the year’s worst movies, starting with the year’s biggest turkey. Up tomorrow, Nigel gives his take on the the best blockbusters of the year.
Never an easy list to compile as one doesn’t like to point out people’s shortcomings – but then again it can be great fun.
We do acknowledge that seeing as Spooool hasn’t quite accomplished world domination, we don’t see every film going and there are probably worse films than those below. I am reliably informed by two of my nieces that Pudsey is terrible. Anyway on with the show.
1) Jimmy’s Hall
Bad amateur acting, an unimpressive story and poorly developed characters all make Ken Loach’s latest film the clear winner of worst film of the year.
It’s not enjoyable to lay this accolade at the foot of an Irish film but with such impressive work before with the similarly styled The Wind That Shakes The Barley – and having directed what may be my favourite film of all time, Kes – we really did expect more from Ken Loach.
2) Transformers: Age of Extinction
This franchise really needs to be put up against a wall.
3) A Walk Among the Tombstones
Liam Neeson has arrived in Shit Town and has gotten a job as a shitty detective.
A disgustingly sleazy and exploitative film that should never have seen the light of day.
4) The Stag
A poor script makes The Stag stand out. Unfunny and a mess of a film that makes little or no use of the brilliant Amy Huberman. It is so unbelievable it makes it impossible to warm to, or relate to the characters in any way.
5) The Equalizer
How did you set the microwave timer with no power Denzel. HUH?
6) The Zero Theorem
Terry Gilliam being Terry Gilliam.
More so disappointing than bad, there is nothing new that wasn’t in Brazil 30 years ago.
Liam Neeson’s career has a one way ticket for soulless cash vehicles.
8) The Expendables 3
Get a bunch of what look like stroke victims but are actually washed up action heroes, add poor dialogue and a idiotic story, pump full of steroids and you get The Expendables 3.
9) The Raid 2: Berandal
Violence for the sake of it is never good, unless you’re a teenage boy or sad middle aged man.
A prime example of a sequel learning nothing from from what made the first so good. For shame.
10) Mandela: Long Walk To Freedom
A story about one of the most important political figures of the 20th Century and starring Idris Elba had all the hallmarks of a great film but instead went down the boring, predictable “This is Your Life” route. A lacklustre film it fails to capture what made the man great.
What a load of hockum. The man who shot Inception and The Dark Knight trilogy managed to shoot his directing career in the foot at the first step. (bonus Nigel pick)
12) Wish I Was Here
Zach Braff’s Kickstarter didn’t stretch to a few quid for a proper script-editor or second opinion. I continue to fear ever re-watching Garden State. (bonus Nigel pick)