Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Why? Can it be as bad as everyone says it is?

Seriously, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a film with such terrible reviews. Michael Bay is used to being ripped apart but even he must be upset by his Rotten Tomatoes rating of 19%…

There is barely any plot to speak of, and what little there is gets disposed of quickly, as though the film was humiliated by it.

Faithful to its predecessors in that it is loud, dumb, and aimed at 11-year-olds (and not the smart ones, either).

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles doesn’t so much provide brainless enjoyment as it pummels the viewer into submission. “Shell-shocked” is a reasonable description of the experience.

A ridiculously plotted and distressingly violent action movie that never makes the case for its own existence.

(October 17th)