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No Escape

no escape

I’m not a racist but… – ★

The film must not have seemed as racist on the page because surely the acting talent of Lake Bell, Owen Wilson and Pierce Brosnan would not have signed up for such a project if they had known what would wind up on the big screen.

The set up is simple; a beautiful white American family with two pure and innocent girls up sticks and move to the big bad East. Daddy messed up somehow in his previous work and now they’re being forced to move half way around the world and Mommy isn’t too pleased but she’s just a woman so what would she know. Then all hell breaks out when those silly Asians go and murder their Prime Minster, they’re always doing that, resulting in the rebels (not cool Che Guevara or Luke Skywalker types) but those smelly poor types, trying to air their grievances. They always cause such a fuss.

What results is Owen Wilson, the spirit of hope freedom and the American way wrapped up in a blond haircut, trying desperately to save his wife and children from falling into the hands of these murderous, one-dimensional, grunting locals.

The director John Erick Dowdle’s ridiculous over use of slow motion at all the wrong times in all the wrong places makes you want to scratch your eyeballs with a rusty compass. He puts on display a barrage of gruesome acts to show just what these Asian savages are capable of doing. When you think he may have let one Asian have a redeeming feature a band of mercenaries is just around the corner to cut you head off with a machete and rape your wife and child.

While 007 is getting a lot of equal space on the posters et. al. he has a total screen time of ten minutes and is merely used as a clunky device to crowbar some semblance of a storyline into the film. Lake Bell plays the usual stereotypical wife wittering away about how she couldn’t possibly do this or that and she relies on her big blond hero to yell and shout telling her to stop being such a big girls blouse.

The bridge too far is when the director Drew Dowdle has the savages attempt to have a child execute her own father. I’m surprised he didn’t show them eating their young. If you put Bernard Manning, Alf Garnett and Jim Davidson in a room for 100 minutes they wouldn’t come out with as racist material as is contained in No Escape.

Opens in Irish cinemas September 4th 2015

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Páraic

Páraic wanted to be a gangster as far back as he can remember. Brought up on a diet of films he was too young to be watching by his brothers, all things 80s teens thanks to his sisters and the classics by his folks he's turned into a well-rounded (maybe a little too round) film lover. Only recently discovering North by Northwest, he longs for a train journey with a beautiful blond.

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